S01E07 - Full Disclosure

No: 7  |   Season: 1   Episode: 7  |   Air Date: 3-Jun-12  

ItIt's the secret service, for Christ's sake. "Secret" as in shut the f**k up. And "service" as in you work for me, okay? So why don't you shut the f**k up?

Summary

With a rumor and personnel changes causing trouble, Selina decides that portions of all office correspondence will be available to the public. Later, she and Dan sever her connections to the Clean Jobs Bill and Selina threatens to fire someone.

Director and Writers

Director: Christopher Morris
Story by: Roger Drew & Armando Iannucci & Ian Martin
Teleplay by: Roger Drew & Ian Martin

Quotes

Selina: I think that Ted is getting ready to dump me. (Amy shakes her head) What is that... nodding thing supposed to mean?
Amy: No, no, my-- processing information. The nod of my head is like I'm buffering.
Selina: Oh, well, once your done buffering, what is it that you're thinking?
Amy: I don't know. Maybe the thrill is gone.
Selina: What do you mean?
Amy: Like the thrill of the whole power thing wore off. And now he just doesn't like what's un--
Selina: Doesn't like what?
Amy: He just doesn't-- doesn't really--
Selina: Okay, I think you'd better get out of my office.

Ted: Hey, you know what? Thanks for returning my call. The message was, "Please don't f**king call me again." So why don't you just take your beak and shove it up some corpse's ass, okay, you vulture motherf**ker?
Selina: Was that a journalist?
Ted: Yes.
Selina: Oh, God! What are you doing, Ted? You can't tell him to f**k his mother!
Ted: Her mother, actually.
Selina: What the hell.

Jonah: Hi, everybody. (no one says anything) So no apologies?
Amy: For what?
Jonah: Oh, for what? Oh. "Washington Post." Page 17. You've disclosed an email containing birthday gift suggestions for an unnamed White House aide. "Suggestion number one: a cake in the shape of a dick." (people laugh and Mike points to himself) "Suggestion number two: a smart new hat in the shape of a dick."
Dan: Oh, that made it in there!
Jonah: Everybody knows this is me, guys.

Gary: Selina's had a miscarriage.
Dan: Well, this is good for us.
Amy: Nicely done, Dandroid.
Mike: How is she?
Dan: Free from a major f**king political headache, I'd say.
Sue: That's deep space cold, Dan.
Mike: Explains why you piss liquid nitrogen.

Amy: Okay, there's a White House request to publish all the secret service office personnel records.
Selina: Are you kidding me? They want our records now? What are we gonna do?
Amy: Yeah...
Selina: What?
Amy: Well, we have to release those. And that has got me thinking why not release all of our f**king records? Full disclosure.
Selina: Are you serious?
Amy: Yeah, publish everything. All of our emails, all of our phone records.
Mike: Right, right, 'cause they won't have time to read everything. I mean, you can't read everything. I don't read half the stuff I'm supposed to.
Amy: So by showing that we have nothing to hide, then we can actually hide some stuff.
Selina: Dan, what do you think about this?
Dan: I just think that this could blow up in all of our faces.
Amy: Just because this isn't your baby, you don't care to-- God, I am so sorry.
Selina: Oh, it's fine. It's fine. I mean, it was like a heavy period. Don't worry about it. All right, you know what, guys? We're doing this. I've made the decision that we are going to release all of our correspondence. Full disclosure is now the name of the game. Mike will fill you in on the rest of it. Right, Mike?
Mike: Yes, ma'am.
Selina: Okay. Thank you. All right, obviously it is not gonna be full disclosure. Okay? It's gonna be partial disclosure light. We don't want to have a paper trail on clean jobs. There can be no- Are you writing that down? Why would you be writing that down? Nothing about Sidney Purcell having access to clean jobs, all right? We have to check Sue's calendar, make sure there are no meetings there that I did-didn't have.
Mike: The accidentally racist brochure that we had to shred.
Selina: Oh, we're gonna redact that for sure. But the thing is, is that I still think there needs to be something embarrassing in there. You know what I mean?
Amy: Sure.
Selina: So it doesn't look as if we've just airbrushed the nipples out of this f**king thing.

Jonah: (entering the office) White House is in the house. Everybody say way-o!
Selina: (turning away) The skyscraper of shit has arrived.

Selina: Mike, this is not a story. Collins made a bunch of faces, he was reassigned. That shouldn't be news. How in the hell did this happen? It's the secret service, for Christ's sake. Secret as in shut the f**k up. And service as in you work for me, okay? So why don't you shut the f**k up? We have an enemy and I want a name and a severed head that answers to that name, or would if it could still talk.

Notes and Trivia

None

Goofs

None

Cast

StarringJulia Louis-DreyfusSelina Meyer
StarringAnna ChlumskyAmy Brookheimer
StarringTony HaleGary Walsh
StarringReid ScottDan Egan
StarringTimothy SimonsJonah Ryan
StarringMatt WalshMike McLintock
StarringSufe BradshawSue Wilson
Guest StarringAndy BuckleyTed Cullen
Guest StarringMark Gessner
Guest StarringRobert PoletickBill
Guest StarringBenjamin Jeran McGinnJonah's Housemate #3 (as Ben Jeran McGinn)
Guest StarringIan Scott McGregor
Guest StarringWilliam L. ThomasMartin Collins
Guest StarringReid Sasser
Guest StarringAidan Wolfe
Guest StarringMarybeth WiseJanet