S03E07 - Special Relationship

No: 25  |   Season: 3   Episode:  |   Air Date: 18-May-14  

I have to say, this is just the most delightful place. I can imagine Harry Potter getting loaded in here.

Summary

During a trip in London, Selina is bombarded with questions regarding the state of mind of Ray, whose online beliefs have been recovered by Jonah; Dan has a breakdown which could work in Amy's favor.

Director and Writers

Director: Becky Martin
Story by: Simon Blackwell & Armando Iannucci & Tony Roche
Teleplay by: Simon Blackwell & Tony Roche

Quotes

Kent: (on phone) Amy, the emu has landed. Jonah's in London.
Amy: Shit. Maddox must've sent him here to spy or something. Jonah Bond, 00-F**k-Off.

Ray: It's called cosmic balance. It's not anything the Buddha didn't talk about.
Ben: Yeah? Well, Buddha's got a big fat ass, Ray.
Ray: I believe in karma. Does that make me weird?
Dan/Mike/Ben: Yes!

Ray: Mike, what's your favorite part of this speech?
Mike: This is like Gettysburg. "Beneath the dark soil of Passchendale, 100,000 bodies still lie unaccounted for. Let today be their funeral service, and we their mourners."
Ray: How about this? "There's a whole lot of guys who never came home. Good guys. Here's to those guys."
Ben: Holy f**king Christ. What is that, Ray?

Selina: What a f**king misery marathon that was. (Looks around) Where is everybody?
Mike: Dan had a nervous collapse, Amy's taking him to the hospital, Ben went back to DC, Kent's firing Ray, and I'm in charge.
Selina: ...F**k.
Mike: I know, right?
Selina: I should just go back out there. Did you see that?
Mike: Yeah, I saw.
Selina: Why? Why am I in London talking about my enormous jiggly-ass ass?
Gary: Ma'am, but people love people who were, like, fat, then they're no longer fat.
Selina: No, they don't.
Gary: Right.
Selina: Fat people don't even vote. They can't even be bothered to get out of the house, you know? No food in the voting booth.

Kent: People are disturbed by your role--
Ray: Yeah, they think folks that are physical can't be cerebral, they think those two things are separate, that they're not... symbiotic.
Kent: No, no, no. You don't understand.
Ray: No, I do! I do. Look, people think that, you know, the fitness guy, how can he know about politics? I get you, Kent.
Kent: (groans in frustration) Again, I don't think you do. People think Selina's judgement is bad if she listens to people like you, whose beliefs are very stupid.
Ray: Because I am people.
Kent: Oh, you're not getting it.
Ray: You know, the brain is a muscle.
Kent: No, it isn't!
(later)
Kent: You really don't get it, so I'm going to keep this very simple: you're fired.
Ray: I get you. Very simple.
Kent: Yes, it is.
Ray: Great. I'm so pleased we had this talk. Let's see where we all are in a month or so.
Kent: (astounded) This is amazing.
Ray: Thank you.

Jonah: Let's check out your chart. Let's see how you're doing, here. Okay. All right. Dan Egan, 67, female. Unemployed campaign manager. Thirty different types of semen pumped from stomach, inverted nipples, abnormally high douche readings--that makes sense. Cancer of the soul, traces of dog excrement found around the corners of mouth. Chronic cretinism, leprosy, anal bleeding. Uh... tiny child balls?

Dan: (on phone, walking out) Yes, I've seen the numbers, Ken. I know that she's bleeding blue-collars. So we're gonna make her look f**king folksy in a London pub.
Mike: Wasn't it Oscar Wilde who said, "Dan's a f**king terrible campaign manager"?
Amy: I would like to shoot him, but there are no guns in this country.

Selina: Let's get the merry old f**k out of merry old England. Okay, I need to be driven to the airport at Diana speed. Okay, just more carefully, though, please.

Notes and Trivia

This episode was nominated for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series.

Goofs

None

Cast