S05E03 - The Eagle
No: 41 | Season: 5 Episode: 3 | Air Date: 8-May-16
Selina continues to date Charlie Baird, however Gary seems to be getting as much attention from Charlie as Selina does. Meanwhile, thinking she was using messaging, Selina publically tweets private information to Charlie. As a cover-up, they blame Chinese hackers for the tweets. Amy goes from a general feeling of be usurped by Bob "The Eagle" Bradley to a more specific fear that he is losing it. She tries to warn Selina, but is not heard until Bob just gets up and leaves during a crucial meeting. Meanwhile, Richard stumbles upon crucial information regarding missing ballots in Nevada.
Director and Writers
Director: Chris Addison
Story by: Steve Koren
Mike: The president has always placed great value on fiscal responsibility. In fact, as vice president, she was chairman of the Meyer Postal Commission, which reduced post office debt from 65 billion to just over 62 billion.
Ben: On the less shitty side, people are really loving you and Charlie Baird. Even Wall Street's got a boner for you guys.
Selina: Really? The market's up?
Ben: No, it's flat. But not down is straight up for us at this point.
Sue: Madam President, we have received word that Chinese hackers have now breached the National Security Council servers.
Selina: I got a great idea. Why don't we give the Chinese their own log-ins and passwords? Okay? Save everybody a lot of time.
Bob: Let me just take a meeting with Jim Whitman. And after I'm done dick slapping him, he will have agreed to delay certification.
Selina: Amy, set it up.
Amy: The injunction or the dick slapping?
Selina: Christ, Amy, the meeting.
Selina: Catherine, do not use any of the vulgar parts.
Catherine: Yeah, but that's like all of it, Mom.
Selina: Well, then don't use it.
Catherine: But it's a doc.
Selina: A what?
Catherine: A documentary.
Selina: Then say that.
Dan: You didn't tell me she worked for CBS.
Amy: Oh! Oh, this is too good. Dan, Sophie doesn't work for CBS. She works for CVS. You sold your dick for bulk iced tea and off-brand cough syrup. Don't worry. You're gonna look really cute in a blue vest.
Dan: I am not having a good year.
Selina: Gary, I did it the way you showed me to do it.
Gary: But that's not the way I showed you to do...
Selina: That's exactly the way that you showed me to do it.
Gary: Do you want me to show you again?
Selina: I'll tell you what I want you to do. Nothing, okay? That's your punishment. Get out.
Gary: Okay, I'll just go make some tea.
Selina: You better not!
Dan: Yeah, I think you're forgetting something, Amy, is that I still had sex with your sister, so... Good night, have a pleasant evening, and I had sex with your sister.
Amy: You might actually want to go to Rite Aid. Get some Valtrex.
Bob: Your instincts are telling you you should be strong.
Selina: Yes, you think my instincts are right?
Bob: Does a bear piss in the shower? You should lead.
Selina: I'm the leader.
Bob: You caught the fish, now gut the fish.
Selina: Gut the fish.
Bob: You're wearing the fireman's hat, now put out the fire.
Selina: Yes! This is better than phone sex.
Bob: Well, I just came.
Whitman: And at 6:00 P.M. tomorrow, every vote in this state will be counted and certified.
Richard: Well, not every vote. Funny thing about elections, historically there've always been leftover ballots. Sometimes up to 16 percent end up missing or thrown out.
Whitman: Is that what this is about? I'm so sorry for... The missing ballots in Washoe County. We looked all over for them, came up empty, so best of luck to you. And if you do happen to find as much as one new vote, we'll see you in court.
Richard: Thank you.
Amy: Holy bacon double Asperger's. How did you do that?
Richard: I'm sorry, what? Amy, what are your top five favorite De Niro movies? And you can't say "Meet the Parents" 'cause that's automatically number one.
Amy: (on the phone) Kent, it's Washoe County. Don't ask me how I know.
Notes and Trivia
|Starring||Julia Louis-Dreyfus||Selina Meyer|
|Starring||Anna Chlumsky||Amy Brookheimer|
|Starring||Tony Hale||Gary Walsh|
|Starring||Reid Scott||Dan Egan|
|Starring||Timothy Simons||Jonah Ryan|
|Starring||Matt Walsh||Mike McLintock|
|Starring||Kevin Dunn||Ben Cafferty|
|Starring||Sufe Bradshaw||Sue Wilson|
|Starring||Gary Cole||Kent Davison|
|Starring||Sam Richardson||Richard Splett|
|Guest Starring||Dan Bakkedahl||Roger Furlong|
|Guest Starring||Martin Mull||Bob Bradley|
|Guest Starring||John Slattery||Charlie Baird|
|Guest Starring||Rose Abdoo|
|Guest Starring||Evan Arnold||WH Reporter #5|
|Guest Starring||Craig Cackowski||Cliff|
|Guest Starring||Clea Duvall||Marjorie Palmiotti|
|Guest Starring||Brad Leland||Bill O'Brien|
|Guest Starring||Nelson Franklin||Will|
|Guest Starring||Kathy Najimy||Wendy Keegan|
|Guest Starring||Andrea Savage||Laura Montez|
|Guest Starring||Sarah Sutherland||Catherine Meyer|
|Guest Starring||Lennon Parham||Karen Collins|
|Guest Starring||Wayne Wilderson||Wayne|
|Guest Starring||Harris Yulin||James Whitman|
|Co-Starring||Chris Game||Maitre D'|
|Co-Starring||Warren Sweeney||Chairman Steve O'Brien|
|Co-Starring||Erica Vittina Phillips||Maitre D' #2|