S06E02 - Library

No: 50  |   Season: 6   Episode:  |   Air Date: 23-Apr-2017  

We need to tell them that the Kennedy Library is a reference point 'cause, you know, he was also a part-termer.

Summary

Selina attends the opening of President Hughes' library. Jonah gets advice on how to rise in the political ranks; Dan suffers through Jane's (Margaret Colin) whims; Amy releases an attack ad.

Director and Writers

Director: Craig Zisk
Story by: Alex Gregory & Peter Huyck
Teleplay by:

Quotes

President Stevenson: (To Selina) Can you even have a library? Seems like it'd be more like a bookmobile.

Selina: Unlike small-town America, Andrew f**ks me in a way I really enjoy.

Selina: No Mrs. Hughes. She must be hanging from the rafters somewhere.

Selina: (referring to the other former Presidents) Former f**kers. This is as impromptu as a colonoscopy except with quadruple the assholes.

Gary: (About Selina's Library) Your outfits alone are gonna be a wing! Dresses, belts...

Selina: We need to tell them that the Kennedy Library is a reference point 'cause, you know, he was also a part-termer.

Furlong: (To a bald Jonah) Good luck getting your precious back from those mean hobbits, Smeagol.

Andrew: I have a Pakistani industrialist friend who's interested in donating $20 million if you get his cousin off the no-fly list.
Selina: As long as he promises not to blow up my library, I mean, I don't really give a shit.

Selina: In terms of the library, I really wanna have a reflecting pool someplace for people to come and sit and reflect on what this c**ksuck of a country did to me.

Richard: My pen's just out of ink. I'm gonna scratch it into the paper and then kind of go back over and trace over and see what I wrote before, like in a suspense movie.

Richard: Your undergrad alma mater, Smith College, said they were open to exploring.
Andrew: Just like a Smith girl, open to exploring.
Selina: Lesbians would really know how to run a library, I can tell you that much.

Kent: In order to find an ideal match, the restaurant, table, food, and time will be the same for every date to establish a control. The girl will be different.
Ben: Jesus, Kent. He's just gotta go to a Laundromat, meet a girl, take her to a movie, a little chit-chat, couple-three drinks, standard hayjay in the cab home, and a year later, he's a father. I mean, why do you make it so goddamn complicated?
Jonah: You know, one time, I tried hitting on a girl at a Laundromat. For somebody with broken English, she was real uppity.
Kent: There's your answer.

Regina: Do you remember that night junior year?
Selina: No.
Regina: Chardonnay on the quad after Julia Child Day?
Selina: You know what, I'm strictly a scotch girl and I always have been, so I never really experimented with Chardonnay. Um, so I think you've got me confused with somebody else.
Regina: I don't think I was confused.
Selina: Good for you.

Smith College Girl: That's our first woman president, y'all!
Gary: Yeah, holla, holla, holla.

Selina: Okay, so who's the big swinging dick at this fundraising gang bang tonight?
Andrew: David Sloane, hedge fund manager. He's in for a million, 1.5 if we can get his dyslexic daughter into Smith.
Selina: Well, maybe get her to write the check. Get 5.1 out of him.

Jonah's Date: So, luckily, the doctors were able to remove the mass without a full mastectomy, so I got to keep my nipple. Whoo-hoo, right?
Jonah: I'm gonna go ahead and be honest with you. That was the most disgusting story I've ever heard. Now I can't, I can't finish my chicken piccata.

Selina: I mean, I just can't believe I fell for it again!
Amy: Andrew is very hard to get rid of. He's like the herpes virus or an unwanted child.
Selina: In this case, he gave me both.

Selina: (to Gary) You just rolled your eyes like the world's bitchiest mime. Like you just did right there... and there it is again, see?

Selina: (to Catherine) I'm just getting drunk here on Gary's great bourbon from his inbred backwoods family.
Gary: What? There is zero inbreeding in my family.
Selina: Well, that's not true at all.
Gary: And only case of schizophrenia, but my uncle-grandpa had her sterilized, and we're all good now.

Mike: Apparently, Andrew kept referring to his penis as the "First Chubby".

Selina: I'm the only one who didn't do anything wrong in this "trif**kta. " And now I'm wearing the scarlet letter?
Gary: Oh, that is your color.

Amy: It's a piddly DUI. In Nevada, that's practically a resume builder. There's a guy driving drunk on the state flag right next to the guy beating his wife.

Jonah: You have a rockin' body.
Jonah's Date: Oh, thank you.
Jonah: You know, go ahead and order a dessert.

Notes and Trivia

None

Goofs

None

Cast