S06E05 - Chicklet
No: 53 | Season: 6 Episode: 5 | Air Date: 14-May-2017
Selina settles on a location for her presidential library. Dan lands in a gossip column. Mike and Selina work on her book. Jonah tries to cement a big donation. Gary manages a mini-crisis at Madame Tussauds.
Director and Writers
Director: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Story by: Gabrielle Allan, Jennifer Crittenden
Selina: I love this T-shirt, too. It's just so happy and wonderful! (CROWD CHEERING) Bye-bye! Thank you! Thank you.
(walks around the corner)
Selina: Get this T-shirt off of me. I look like I'm trying out for "The Price is Right."
Jonah: I've been underestimated my entire life. Failure to thrive at birth fu** that. Puberty at 19. When it hit, it hit like a fu**ing thunderbolt. Third grade reading level in the tenth grade. Everything that I have been through in my entire life has only made me stronger and taller.
Richard: I can't believe I'm gonna be a father! A lot of responsibility.
Marjorie: You just signed away all responsibility.
Richard: I've never done this before.
Marjorie: You just go in the room and...
Richard: Uh, I've never shook the devil's hand.
Marjorie: Oh! - You mean masturbate?
Richard: Oh, self-husband. Does it hurt?
Catherine: Oh, no, Richard. It doesn't hurt.
Marjorie: No, but how is that possible?
Richard: Well, my family in Iowa was pretty religious. Grandma Splett always said that self-pleasure was a sin like microwaves or laughter.
Catherine: Do you need a minute or?
Richard: No. Worse comes to worst, I'll burn in hell like Grandma Splett.
Catherine: You know what? He has a really good heart.
Richard: I'm sorry, I'm still understanding how the cup comes into play.
Catherine: Oh, you you just have to aim and and what...
Richard: How many of these do I need to fill up?
Catherine: Yeah, no, you just have to do one.
Richard: Just one? Okay. I think that'll be easier. How will I know when I'm done? You know, I'll figure it out. I'll probably figure it out.
Dan: It would be uncharted territory for me. Sort of like Indiana Jones, I guess. Digging my way through the ancient ruins, hacking my way past the crazy cobwebs and snakes and shit, hoping my face doesn't melt when I open her up.
Kent: All right, the treasury secretary is meeting with House leadership about a hard date for the debt ceiling.
Jonah: Why do we always have to raise the ceiling?
Ben: So you don't scrape your head, you giant barbecue fork.
Selina: I'm gonna turn Mee-Maw's house into the Selina Meyer Presidential Birthplace and Library.
Richard: Just like FDR.
Catherine: But wasn't Mee-Maw living in Palm Beach when you were born?
Selina: Catherine, I don't know! I was a baby.
Notes and Trivia
|Starring||Julia Louis-Dreyfus||Selina Meyer|
|Starring||Anna Chlumsky||Amy Brookheimer|
|Starring||Tony Hale||Gary Walsh|
|Starring||Reid Scott||Dan Egan|
|Starring||Timothy Simons||Jonah Ryan|
|Starring||Matt Walsh||Mike McLintock|
|Starring||Kevin Dunn||Ben Cafferty|
|Starring||Gary Cole||Kent Davison|
|Starring||Sam Richardson||Richard Splett|
|Guest Starring||Sarah Sutherland||Catherine Meyer|
|Guest Starring||Margaret Colin||Jane McCabe|
|Guest Starring||India de Beaufort||Brie Ramachandran|
|Guest Starring||Brian Doyle-Murray||George Huntzinger|
|Guest Starring||Clea DuVall||Marjorie Palmiotti|
|Guest Starring||Jonathan Hadary||Sherman Tanz|
|Guest Starring||Mary Holland||Shawnee Tanz|
|Guest Starring||David Pasquesi||Andrew Meyer|
|Guest Starring||Paul Scheer||Stevie|
|Co-Starring||Ilana Guralnik||Lia Tanz|
|Co-Starring||Susan Isaacs||Dr. Diane|
|Co-Starring||Nirmal Ray||Bodega Clerk|