Veep Quotes

Richard: I can't believe I'm gonna be a father! A lot of responsibility.
Marjorie: You just signed away all responsibility.
Richard: I've never done this before.
Marjorie: You just go in the room and...
Richard: Uh, I've never shook the devil's hand.
Marjorie: Oh! - You mean masturbate?
Richard: Oh, self-husband. Does it hurt?
Catherine: Oh, no, Richard. It doesn't hurt.
Marjorie: No, but how is that possible?
Richard: Well, my family in Iowa was pretty religious. Grandma Splett always said that self-pleasure was a sin like microwaves or laughter.
Catherine: Do you need a minute or?
Richard: No. Worse comes to worst, I'll burn in hell like Grandma Splett.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Catherine: You know what? He has a really good heart.
(DOOR OPENS)
Richard: I'm sorry, I'm still understanding how the cup comes into play.
Catherine: Oh, you you just have to aim and and what...
Richard: How many of these do I need to fill up?
Catherine: Yeah, no, you just have to do one.
Richard: Just one? Okay. I think that'll be easier. How will I know when I'm done? You know, I'll figure it out. I'll probably figure it out.

Quote from S06E05 - Chicklet


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