S02E02 - Signals

No: 10  |   Season: 2   Episode:  |   Air Date: 21-Apr-13  

We've got to get some meat on your bones. And there you go. Ask and you shall receive.

Summary

Selina attends a North Carolina pig roast in support of the president's "Listen to Rural America" initiative. Dan takes up pilates in order to gain some one-on-one time with Kent.

Director and Writers

Director: Chris Addison
Story by: Simon Blackwell & Armando Iannucci
Teleplay by: Simon Blackwell

Quotes

Amy: Christ, it's everywhere.
Dan: Alright, well, if it's just a film studies essay then...
Amy: No. Catherine's essay is about Emad Burnat's movie 5 Broken Cameras.
Dan: Alright, if Owen Wilson's not in it, I probably don't know it.
Amy: It's about non-violent Palestinian resistance to Israeli settlement of the West Bank.
Dan: That doesn't sounds like one of Owen's.
Amy: She talks about the masterly portrayal of brutal, illegal Israeli aggression.
Dan: Ouch.
Amy: We have to issue a statement.
Dan: All right, well, standard issue pro-Israeli, pro-Palestinian, but subtly more pro-Israeli statement. I mean, hit F9 and print that f**ker out.
Amy: No, this needs to be top-notch. This needs to be the Gettysburg Address of tightrope-walking, say-nothing bullshit.

Random Guy: I see you got a mention in "Playbook" yesterday.
Dan: Yep.
Random Guy: Awesome. I have a Google alert set up for your name.
Dan: Wow.
Random Guy: Hey, did you catch Krauthammer in the Post about the hostage situation?
Dan: Are you the guy that always says hi to me in the garage?
Random Guy: Yeah.
Dan: Yeah, I got to do some f**king weights. This is for rubber idiots.

Selina: We got to go. We're gonna go mix with the hicks.
Sue: Congressman Furlong called and he'd like some face time.
Selina: Okay, well, let's see, I'd rather set fire to my vulva. So that's a no.
Amy: He's in town trying to play nice for a possible Senate run in the next year or so.
Selina: Seriously?!
Mike: Roger Furlong trying to play nice is like Brando trying to play Annie.
Selina: That's a good one, Mike!

Selina: (on the phone with her ex-husband) No, I want Catherine to spend Thanksgiving with me, not some random boyfriend. And what about poor Memaw, who's guaranteed to be dead by March? (quietly to Amy) With any luck.

Jonah: Pardon me, West Wing. Pardon me. Excuse me. Oh, hello, little girl. Office of the president. Please step off to the side. Thank you. Ma'am, I have been charged with informing you that you need to get your daughter Catherine to apologize unequivocally and immediately.
Selina: Yeah? Well, go shit yourself, Long Tall Sally, because I will deal with my daughter in my own way on my own terms.
Jonah: Yes, ma'am.
Mike: Oh, here's your ma.
Selina: Hey, you got her? Hi, Catherine. How are you?
Catherine: Hi, Mom.

Selina: Okay, so they want me to go to a pig roast to meet a bunch of men who probably took turns to f**k the pig before they roasted it?
Amy: I wouldn't presume they took turns.
Selina: Let me tell you something. I'm going to that 4:30 meeting even if I have to get Sue to fly around the world the wrong way like Superman and reverse time. Do you understand that?

Mike: Jonah. Jonah, calm down. It's a plane with a logo. It's not Space Mountain. What the hell do you do on Air Force One, rub your dick on the seats?

Roger Furlong: You know, you're about as annoying as a condom filled with fire ants. How's that for a f**king metaphor?
Will: That's a simile, sir.
Roger Furlong: Shut your mouth, you fat girl.

Notes and Trivia

None

Goofs

None

Cast