S02E03 - Hostages

No: 11  |   Season: 2   Episode:  |   Air Date: 28-Apr-13  

God, I hate numbers. ThereGod, I hate numbers. There's cultures that don't even have any numbers and they do just fine.


When a hostage crisis in Uzbekistan ensues, Selina has conflict with the Secretary of Defense General Maddox (Isiah Whitlock, Jr.) during their joint appearance at the Marine Corps Base in Quantico. Sue testifies at a Congressional hearing. Dan and Gary fight for the Veep's approval.

Director and Writers

Director: Chris Addison
Story by: Armando Iannucci & Sean Gray
Teleplay by: Sean Gray


Kent: All I do is provide POTUS with the polls. Cold numbers.
Ben: God, I hate numbers. I mean there's cultures that don't even have any numbers, and they get along just fine!

Kent: I cook these noodles every day.
Jonah: Oh, the noodle analogy. You guys are gonna love this. (Kent glares) I will leave.
Kent: They need to be heated at 800 watts for 3:35. Any more and they'll dry out, any less and they will be flaccid and damp like a lady's hair in the rain.
Amy: Why are we talking about noodles?
Ben: No, let me rephrase that. Why the f**k are we talking about noodles?
Kent: I'll tell you why. Hostage crisis, noodles, same principle. Both require precision timing, neither should be rushed. Inaction only becomes untenable when more than 65% of Americans support intervention even with casualties.
Amy: So you'd like me to tell the Vice President we do nothing until then?
Kent: Waiting is not doing nothing. I choose to wait for my noodles even though my salivary glands are crying out to me like newly hatched birds. But they will thank me because I waited until... (snaps his fingers at the exact same moment as the microwave dings)
Ben: You just timed out that whole shit analogy for your little ding? That is f**king pathetic.

Notes and Trivia





StarringJulia Louis-DreyfusSelina Meyer
StarringAnna ChlumskyAmy Brookheimer
StarringTony HaleGary Walsh
StarringReid ScottDan Egan
StarringTimothy SimonsJonah Ryan
StarringMatt WalshMike McLintock
StarringSufe BradshawSue Wilson
Guest StarringGary ColeKent Davison
Guest StarringKevin DunnBen Cafferty
Guest StarringRemy AuberjonoisVince Hessler
Guest StarringPete BurrisColonel Jeffcoat
Guest StarringCraig CackowskiCliff
Guest StarringIsiah Whitlock Jr.George Maddox
Co-StarringKen ArnoldNeil
Co-StarringR. Emery BrightMarine Hayward
Co-StarringMaddie HowardRuby
Co-StarringEd JewettGeneral Mercer
Co-StarringWil LovePhillip Dorsey
Co-StarringDan ManningNew Senator 2
Co-StarringCraig SechlerBrian