S04E01 - Joint Session

No: 29  |   Season: 4   Episode:  |   Air Date: 12-Apr-15  

Ladies be crying, pimps be dying. It's Jonah Ryan.

Summary

Twenty-four hours before Selina's first major speech as President, her staff frantically tries to work out how she can say two completely opposite things at the same time. Gary questions his worth now that he can no longer be close to Selina; Jonah is put off by the hands-on approach of the new VP's chief of staff, Teddy; Amy learns that Bill Ericsson, a rival campaign manager, may make a play for her job.

Director and Writers

Director: Chris Addison
Story by: Armando Iannucci & Simon Blackwell & Georgia Pritchett
Teleplay by: Simon Blackwell & Georgia Pritchett

Quotes

Kent: The only unthinkable thing is that anything is unthinkable.
Ben: Kent majored in fortune cookies.

Sue: I do not like to swear guys, but I think the 'S' is about to hit the 'F'.
Mike: The 'shit' is gonna to hit the 'f**k'?
Sue: No, 'F' is for 'fan', Mike, not 'f**k'. Why would shit hit f**k? Shit doesn't hit f**k.

Selina: Alright, so we'll 'c**k-thumb' the joint chiefs. What do you think they're gonna offer?
Ben: I don't know. Two, three billion? You know, maybe sell off a useless airfield?
Selina: Maybe we can put Afghanistan on eBay? Get about ten bucks for that.

Selina: This speech was supposed to perfectly define my presidency. Whole cities of children were gonna be saved from poverty. Instead now, that money is going to fund obsolete, metal...giant...dildos!

Furlong: I've read the speech, so my friends here--oh, sorry. Guys, this is the military industrial complex. Military industrial complex, these are the president's flying monkeys.
Amy: Is this about the submarine jobs?
Furlong: Ten f**king points to Elsa the Ice Queen!
Kent: Should we recalibrate our language, Roger?
Furlong: It's Congressman Furlong to you, Grey Elvis, and yes, this is about, specifically, nineteen hundred submarine jobs in my district that this announcement will torpedo!
Amy: The N6-20's are for a threat that doesn't exist! We may as well have an anti-unicorn strategy!
Mike: And they cost 50 billion dollars! 50 billion, and I'm gonna say dollars again, dollars!
Furlong: You think the whole sub is made in one place? Because the fin whatever the f**k, it comes from one factory in one state, and then this little round f**king window comes from another place! Right, and the fuel rods are from Cheesedick, Wisconsin! We are going to lose votes and seats everywhere, so take the periscope out of your asses, and look at the warhead of shit that's coming at you!
Ben: Hey, Dobby the House Elf. We've had enough. Just get out.
Furlong: Okay. Either way, bye-bye to the Families First Bill because the lawmakers in these districts are gonna Vulcan death-grip you to f**k. (makes Vulcan salute, then the middle finger) Live long and f**k off!

Notes and Trivia

None

Goofs

None

Cast