S04E03 - Data

No: 31  |   Season: 4   Episode:  |   Air Date: 26-Apr-15  

I preferred the Internet when it was just AltaVista and that little Star Wars kid.

Summary

When the personal details of a previously anonymous girl mentioned by the President are leaked, Selina's team tries to find a scapegoat for the data breach. Catherine tells Selina she wants to support an anti-bullying campaign; Dan tasks Jonah and Richard with buying fireworks for a campaign rally. While Mike is about to make a dreadful error at a press conference, the President hosts the annual Easter Egg Roll and reads a story to the assembled kids.

Director and Writers

Director: Becky Martin
Story by: Armando Iannucci & Simon Blackwell & Neil Gibbons & Rob Gibbons
Teleplay by: Simon Blackwell & Neil Gibbons & Rob Gibbons

Quotes

Teddy: (to Jonah) Hey, I Am Groot, stop swapping spit here with pretty woman, and get me Brock and Hunter!

Ben: Hey, Dan.
Dan: Thought you resigned.
Ben: I guess the president changed her mind. It's a fickle world, my friend, and you've just been fickled.
(beat)
Dan: No. No, this is not--this is not real.
Ben: No, you're right Dan, it's a dream. And me and Kent are about to turn into two horny cheerleaders and start making out.
Dan: So am I fired? Please Ben, don't say that I'm fired.
Ben: You're not fired.
Dan: Oh, thank f**k for that.
Ben: Because you've just resigned.
Kent: It's a perfect fit. Worked on the Families First Bill, and handsome. Therefore, guilty looking.
Dan: No, no. No! I know about the targeting of bereaved families and the use of federal data!
Ben: You listen to me, you little f**king turd's assistant, you don't threaten the administration, because we will f**king destroy you! We'll skin you like a squirrel, clean you out like a dirty f**king chimney, and wear you like a glove puppet with my fingers sticking out of your dead f**king eyeballs!!
(beat)
Kent: I cannot endorse that message, but I do acknowledge it.

Dan: Sir?
Ben: Yes?
Dan: The HIV girl.
Ben: Yes?
Dan: The one that the president mentioned in the CBS interview.
Ben: Yes?
Dan: Alright, well, some people on Reddit put the details together and now the whole town knows who she is.
Ben: F**k! You know, I preferred when the Internet was just AltaVista and that little Star Wars kid! Dd we definitely out this girl?
Dan: Yeah.
Ben: Shit!
Dan: Only her doctor and her principal knew, now parents are keeping their kids home from school 'cause they don't want them to, quote, "catch AIDS."
Ben: Oh, there's a town with no Gay Pride parade or a goddamn library!
Bill Ericsson: Where did this data come from? How did we get her medical records, and why didn't we ask her parent's permission?
Ben: Oh thank you, Question Man! You've just saved the entire city! Or did you?
Mike: This is catching fire like a gas station in a Michael Bay movie.
Dan: What's our line here? Do we tell the president?
Ben: No! She's gonna panic! We gotta find out more facts, aright? Bozos, disassemble!

Notes and Trivia

None

Goofs

None

Cast