S05E02 - Nev-ah-da
No: 40 |
Season: 5
Episode: |
Air Date: 1-May-16
You are not Michael Jordan. You are a seven-foot-seven goony-looking Lithuanian...
Summary
Amy, Dan, Jonah and Richard travel to Carson City, Nevada in an attempt to force a judicial recount of the state. Meanwhile, back in Washington D.C., Selina brings in Bob Bradley (Martin Mull), a respected Washington fixture nicknamed "The Eagle", as an advisor. Tom James has been moved aside to his role as the leader of the banking task force, and for some reason he is suddenly agreeable about everything. Selina meets billionaire banker Charlie Baird and suddenly decides he is "spongeworthy", much to the chagrin of Gary. Mike goes on a master cleanse, in an attempt to get healthy before his adopted baby arrives. However, his blood sugar dips dangerously (and humorously). Kent is fascinated by Sue's age, as he perceives she is much older than she appears. After successfully forcing a judicial recount in Nevada, Amy and Dan share a "will they or won't they" moment.
Director and Writers
Director: Chris Addison
Story by: Lew Morton
Teleplay by:
Quotes
Selina: So figure that out and call me right back. I'm at Walter Reed. I'm meeting troops and shaking (pause) God only knows what.
Dan: She's changed her mind more times than a frickin' child molester at Disneyland.
Selina: Seriously, I'm more Hispanic than she is. You know? Where's she from, Santo Connecticut?
Ben: She summers in Vinyardo Del Martha.
Sue: Chinese hackers have breached White House employee files.
Selina: Maybe they can find out what some of these people are doing.
Gary: Ooh, tell me about it.
Ben: What in the lunatic f**k is the master cleanse? Sounds like Nazi domestic policy.
Kent: Little known fact about the Nazis. Their polling numbers within Germany, through the roof. Unbelievable numbers. (pause) Though also tragic.
Ben: The Jewish demo couldn't have been that good.
Richard: I could email you, or you could email me at splett2 at splettnet dot net. Splett1 is my father.
Bob: Lookie here. Ben Cafferty all grown up. We used to have a million nicknames for this guy. We called him Fatty Dicksuckle and B-B-Benny and the Jizz. Buttf**ker.
Ben: Buttf**ker, that's me. I can't believe you remembered my nickname.
Dan: After f**k, that is a comma. So it doesn't say "F**k Selina Meyer. "It says, you know, "F**k, Selina Meyer!"
Jonah: Genuine crocodile skin. Yeah, I'm gonna be pulling down Clint Eastwood cowboy movie style pussy in these things. Except I'm not the man with no name. I'm the man with mo' game.
Jonah: Can Paul McCartney teach Kid Rock how to be a good songwriter? I mean, that's a bad example. Kid Rock rules...
Selina: How is Susan?
Gary: (whispering) He's divorced.
Selina: Not in jail for what she did to you.
Richard: You should read C.S. Lewis's book on grief. It's not as fun as "The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe" series, - but it's still pretty good.
Sue: You have a meeting with Olympic medalists in five.
Selina: Special or normal?
Sue: Well, they seemed normal, but I'll confirm.
Ben: Ma'am, I don't think right now would be the best time for another banking task force.
Selina: No, I just want to have a quick banking task force.
Ben: With all due respect, ma'am, you know, the banks will still be, you know, raring to go for a task force, you know, when you're safely reelected.
Selina: I'm human, okay? I just I just sometimes need a little banking task force.
Ben: Well, ma'am, if you want, I can arrange a more discreet banking task force.
Selina: I don't want that kind of banking task force. I want the banking task force that I want.
Kent: What about Patty Driscoll from Deutsche Bank? She's very good. Might be nice to throw a woman in the mix.
Sue: Ma'am, Tom James is here sans appointment.
Selina: Bleh. Can you go tell him to f**k a bag of glass or something?
Selina: Hey, I'm gonna be president, so I can go take a shit in the Rose Garden if I want to.
Ben: We used to call that a Jimmy Carter.
Sophie: What happens in Vegas, it stays in Vegas.
Amy: We're not in Vegas.
Ben: You know, I was over in the East Wing and I saw a painting of Sue holding George Washington's horse.
Selina: He f**ked me and then he f**ked me? What, is he trying to f**k me?
Gary: I bet he's really sorry.
Dan: Remind me again what it is that you do that's so interesting.
Sophie: I work at CVS.
Dan: Really? CBS? I would love to work at CBS.
Amy: (texts) "Nightcap?"
Amy: (texts) "Nightcap?"
Amy: (texts) "Where r u?"
Amy: (texts) "Never mind going to bed"
Amy: (texts) "Nightcap?"
(later)
Ben: 23 messages? A nightcap? (texts) "I'm in DC".
Notes and Trivia
None
Goofs
None
Cast
Starring | Julia Louis-Dreyfus | Selina Meyer |
Starring | Anna Chlumsky | Amy Brookheimer |
Starring | Tony Hale | Gary Walsh |
Starring | Reid Scott | Dan Egan |
Starring | Timothy Simons | Jonah Ryan |
Starring | Matt Walsh | Mike McLintock |
Starring | Kevin Dunn | Ben Cafferty |
Starring | Sufe Bradshaw | Sue Wilson |
Starring | Gary Cole | Kent Davison |
Starring | Sam Richardson | Richard Splett |
Guest Starring | Hugh Laurie | Tom James |
Guest Starring | Dan Bakkedahl | Roger Furlong |
Guest Starring | Martin Mull | Bob Bradley |
Guest Starring | John Slattery | Charlie Baird |
Guest Starring | Craig Cackowski | Cliff |
Guest Starring | Brian Huskey | Leon West |
Guest Starring | Mary Catherine Garrison | Sophie Brookheimer |
Guest Starring | Nelson Franklin | Will |
Guest Starring | Brad Leland | Bill O'Brien |
Guest Starring | Matt Oberg | Nevada Secretary of State |
Guest Starring | Andrea Savage | Laura Montez |
Guest Starring | Sarah Sutherland | Catherine Meyer |
Guest Starring | Wayne Wilderson | Wayne |
Guest Starring | Harris Yulin | James Whitman |
Co-Starring | Jose Antonio | |
Co-Starring | Cormac Bluestone | DC Reporter #2 |
Co-Starring | Jon Barinholtz | |
Co-Starring | Barbara Bennet | |
Co-Starring | Louise Bennett | CNN Newswoman |
Co-Starring | Bonnie Bentley | Staffer |
Co-Starring | Deb Hiett | White House Reporter #1 |
Co-Starring | Sasha Issenberg | |
Co-Starring | Megan Grano | |
Co-Starring | Emma Jacobson-Sive | Elizabeth Moorehouse |
Co-Starring | Gil Glasgow | Election Official #1 |
Co-Starring | Adam Lustick | |
Co-Starring | Coco Leigh | |
Co-Starring | Heather McPhaul | Tracy |
Co-Starring | Hazel Anne Raymundo | Journalist |
Co-Starring | Bob Rumnock | Election Official #6 |
Co-Starring | Sarah Siadat | Reporter #3 |
Co-Starring | Jenny Schmidt | |
Co-Starring | Jim Titus | Reporter #1 |
Co-Starring | Carolyn Wilson | Election Official #2 |