S06E02 - Library

No: 50  |   Season: 6   Episode:  |   Air Date: 23-Apr-2017  

We need to tell them that the Kennedy Library is a reference point We need to tell them that the Kennedy Library is a reference point 'cause, you know, he was also a part-termer.


Selina attends the opening of President Hughes' library. Jonah gets advice on how to rise in the political ranks; Dan suffers through Jane's (Margaret Colin) whims; Amy releases an attack ad.

Director and Writers

Director: Craig Zisk
Story by: Alex Gregory & Peter Huyck
Teleplay by:


President Stevenson: (To Selina) Can you even have a library? Seems like it'd be more like a bookmobile.

Selina: Unlike small-town America, Andrew f**ks me in a way I really enjoy.

Selina: No Mrs. Hughes. She must be hanging from the rafters somewhere.

Selina: (referring to the other former Presidents) Former f**kers. This is as impromptu as a colonoscopy except with quadruple the assholes.

Gary: (About Selina's Library) Your outfits alone are gonna be a wing! Dresses, belts...

Selina: We need to tell them that the Kennedy Library is a reference point 'cause, you know, he was also a part-termer.

Furlong: (To a bald Jonah) Good luck getting your precious back from those mean hobbits, Smeagol.

Andrew: I have a Pakistani industrialist friend who's interested in donating $20 million if you get his cousin off the no-fly list.
Selina: As long as he promises not to blow up my library, I mean, I don't really give a shit.

Selina: In terms of the library, I really wanna have a reflecting pool someplace for people to come and sit and reflect on what this c**ksuck of a country did to me.

Richard: My pen's just out of ink. I'm gonna scratch it into the paper and then kind of go back over and trace over and see what I wrote before, like in a suspense movie.

Richard: Your undergrad alma mater, Smith College, said they were open to exploring.
Andrew: Just like a Smith girl, open to exploring.
Selina: Lesbians would really know how to run a library, I can tell you that much.

Kent: In order to find an ideal match, the restaurant, table, food, and time will be the same for every date to establish a control. The girl will be different.
Ben: Jesus, Kent. He's just gotta go to a Laundromat, meet a girl, take her to a movie, a little chit-chat, couple-three drinks, standard hayjay in the cab home, and a year later, he's a father. I mean, why do you make it so goddamn complicated?
Jonah: You know, one time, I tried hitting on a girl at a Laundromat. For somebody with broken English, she was real uppity.
Kent: There's your answer.

Regina: Do you remember that night junior year?
Selina: No.
Regina: Chardonnay on the quad after Julia Child Day?
Selina: You know what, I'm strictly a scotch girl and I always have been, so I never really experimented with Chardonnay. Um, so I think you've got me confused with somebody else.
Regina: I don't think I was confused.
Selina: Good for you.

Smith College Girl: That's our first woman president, y'all!
Gary: Yeah, holla, holla, holla.

Selina: Okay, so who's the big swinging dick at this fundraising gang bang tonight?
Andrew: David Sloane, hedge fund manager. He's in for a million, 1.5 if we can get his dyslexic daughter into Smith.
Selina: Well, maybe get her to write the check. Get 5.1 out of him.

Jonah's Date: So, luckily, the doctors were able to remove the mass without a full mastectomy, so I got to keep my nipple. Whoo-hoo, right?
Jonah: I'm gonna go ahead and be honest with you. That was the most disgusting story I've ever heard. Now I can't, I can't finish my chicken piccata.

Selina: I mean, I just can't believe I fell for it again!
Amy: Andrew is very hard to get rid of. He's like the herpes virus or an unwanted child.
Selina: In this case, he gave me both.

Selina: (to Gary) You just rolled your eyes like the world's bitchiest mime. Like you just did right there... and there it is again, see?

Selina: (to Catherine) I'm just getting drunk here on Gary's great bourbon from his inbred backwoods family.
Gary: What? There is zero inbreeding in my family.
Selina: Well, that's not true at all.
Gary: And only case of schizophrenia, but my uncle-grandpa had her sterilized, and we're all good now.

Mike: Apparently, Andrew kept referring to his penis as the "First Chubby".

Selina: I'm the only one who didn't do anything wrong in this "trif**kta. " And now I'm wearing the scarlet letter?
Gary: Oh, that is your color.

Amy: It's a piddly DUI. In Nevada, that's practically a resume builder. There's a guy driving drunk on the state flag right next to the guy beating his wife.

Jonah: You have a rockin' body.
Jonah's Date: Oh, thank you.
Jonah: You know, go ahead and order a dessert.

Notes and Trivia





StarringJulia Louis-DreyfusSelina Meyer
StarringAnna ChlumskyAmy Brookheimer
StarringTony HaleGary Walsh
StarringReid ScottDan Egan
StarringTimothy SimonsJonah Ryan
StarringMatt WalshMike McLintock
StarringKevin DunnBen Cafferty
StarringGary ColeKent Davison
StarringSam RichardsonRichard Splett
Guest StarringDan BakkedahlRoger Furlong
Guest StarringSarah SutherlandCatherine Meyer
Guest StarringAmy BrennemanRegina Pell
Guest StarringMargaret ColinJane McCabe
Guest StarringClea DuVallMarjorie Palmiotti
Guest StarringNelson FranklinWill
Guest StarringHector HugoAlejandro Montez
Guest StarringMatt ObergBuddy Calhoun
Guest StarringDavid PasquesiAndrew Meyer
Guest StarringRobert PinePresident Stevenson
Guest StarringJune Diane RaphaelHelen Wright
Guest StarringPaul ScheerStevie
Co-StarringChelsea AldenRenee Holt
Co-StarringDwayne ColbertMover
Co-StarringMakeda DecletDenise
Co-StarringDanny Doherty
Co-StarringMichael Echols
Co-StarringBo FoxworthHoyt Steptoe
Co-StarringLeila JoeEllen McLintock
Co-StarringAlexis MatthewsLisa Jones
Co-StarringHeather McPhaulTracy
Co-StarringLizzie PrestelClara
Co-StarringErica RhodesDate #2
Co-StarringWayne Alon ScottCBS Crew
Co-StarringRacheal SeymourWoman Cop
Co-StarringRena StroberCrystal