S06E03 - Georgia

No: 51  |   Season: 6   Episode:  |   Air Date: 30-Apr-2017  

You look absolutely radiant. Yes, your stay in the insane asylum has really agreed with you.

Summary

Selina helps monitor the first free and democratic election in Georgia - the country, not the state - and is reunited with an old "friend." Meanwhile, Mike and Gary hide evidence of a major mishap, and Jonah and Richard have an eventful night out. Back in the U.S., Dan tries to help Amy.

Director and Writers

Director: Becky Martin
Story by: Billy Kimball
Teleplay by:

Quotes

Man: Excuse me, it would be a great honor to introduce my daughter to the president of USA.
Selina: Hello! One day, you can grow up to be president.
Man: (to his daughter) No, not you! Your brother.

Jonah: This place sucks my ghost nard. Why couldn't you have gotten me on an international election watching trip to Hawaii?
Kent: Hawaii is rightfully a monarchy and will be again.

Jonah: Ooh, sex trafficking workshop.
Kent: It's an anti-sex trafficking workshop.
Jonah: Lame.

Ben: Look at us, just like the good, old days except shittier in every conceivable way.

Mike: Hey, hey, gang's all here. Maybe we can win an election for a change. That came out wrong.
Selina: Yeah, way wrong, right?

Ben: Secretary Doyle has picked you for elder statesman duty?
Gary: (aside) Jailbait statesman.

Selina: Congressman Ryan! I haven't spoken to you since the historic House vote. Yes, I just wanted to thank you for all that you've done for me, and I wanna let you know that I will destroy you in ways that are so creative, they will honor me for it at the Kennedy Center.

Jonah: I am gonna find ways to destroy you so hard that everybody at the Kennedy Center is gonna take a f**king massive shit.
Richard: It's really nice to see you.

Jonah: Hey, you wanna go monitor some dinner? I hear that horse is legal to eat here.

Dan: Ames, who's your favorite character on "Downton"?
Amy: I don't know. Abby, I guess.

Gary: Hey, ma'am, we have a situation with your hotel room.
Selina: What is it?
Gary: Your bidet is splashy and there's no terry cloth robe or shower cap.
Selina: Wait, you tested my bidet?

Jonah: Hi, what do you have that's like Spaghettios?

Gary: I went out to get a terry cloth robe and there was this crowd and I asked them where Nordstrom's was and then the next thing I know, they dyed my thumb and an old lady who smelled like cumin wouldn't stop hugging me!
Mike: Mine smelled like paprika.

Murman: I trust I have made myself suitably clear.
Selina: As clear as the coffee table Danny Thomas had his hookers sh** on. It's an American expression. Danny Thomas also founded the St.Jude's Hospital for Children, so.
Murman: Ah, yes, the yin and the yang.

Marjorie: If you could not ejaculate for the next 72 hours, that would be ideal.
Dan: Okay, uh, could we start the clock in, like, 30 minutes? ...actually, no, make it 40. The girl I'm thinking of likes to talk first.

Ben: That'll keep a lot of docents in Rockports.
Selina: I'd kill for a job where I could wear flats all day.

Selina: What about Georgian law?
Kent: There is literally no Georgian law. And I'm using "literally" correctly.

Minna: He has the soul of a poet.
Selina: Yeah, that and a car with a sunroof could've bought you my virginity in '83.

Minna: He weighted his boots and he jumped into an ice hole.
Selina: I'm so sorry, into what?
Minna: Into an ice hole. Like a hole they cut in the ice.

Selina: Eat the soup.
Gary: Why?
Selina: Because I'm hungry. I need to know if it's been poisoned.
Gary: Really?
Selina: Mm-hmm.
Gary: (stammering) I don't wanna do that.
Selina: Just a tiny, tiny taste.
Gary: (nervously slurps some soup) It's delicious.
Selina: Okay.
Gary: (to Mike) Is there anything happening to me?
Mike: I don't think so.
Selina: Oh, it has carrots in it. I'm not gonna eat that.

Minna: What did you think of Nikolai? Can I be uncharacteristically blunt with you? The poison? It did not engorge only his face, if you know what I mean. It also engorged his penis and made it very unusual texture of sea cucumber, so it's great for vaginal orgasms.

Selina: Oh, this is not gonna stand. This election's going down like Eleanor Roosevelt at Dinah Shore Weekend.

Selina: You're just in the middle of what we in America call...
Minna: A difficult situation...
Selina: ...a f**k fog.
Minna: Yes, and that as well. Yeah, in Finland, we call this the fever of the sausage.

Selina: I mean, honestly, that is the most grotesque country I have ever been to... and I have been all over Florida.

Notes and Trivia

None

Goofs

None

Cast