S06E08 - Judge

No: 56  |   Season: 6   Episode:  |   Air Date: 11-Jun-2017  

Congressman you have accomplished more in one month than most extremely stupid people do in a lifetime.

Summary

Selina takes a trip. Meanwhile, Dan woos Jonah in order to get a coveted interview, and Amy convinces Selina to put her in charge of a very disorganized Mike.

Director and Writers

Director: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Story by: Ted Cohen
Teleplay by:

Quotes

Selina: Oh, Kentucky fried Christ! It's like Satan's humidor out here. My God! Flying a thousand miles to Alabama. I mean, is anyone as shocked as I am that I'm doing this?
Richard: Well, I'm easily shocked, so probably not the best person to ask.

Selina: Hey, Gary, how come your family doesn't have a Mongoloid kid on the porch playing banjo?
Amy: 'Cause he grew up and moved to DC.

Mrs. Walsh: It it's an honor to have you at our humble home.
Selina: It is such a a treat to be here in Lynch City.
Gary: It's White City. We couldn't afford Lynch City.

Leon: Mike, do you have any awareness of what's been happening with newspapers in the last 10 years?
Mike: Not at all. I mean, truth is I don't even get 'em anymore. I just read the news on my phone. It's so much better and it's free.

Amy: Ma'am, I really think that we need to discuss my doing something other than the library. It's just...
Selina: Do you have any social skills whatsoever? I mean, my God, Amy, we're in the middle of visiting with what's-his-ass's family here.

Selina: Wow, no wonder I couldn't carry the South. I mean, none of the polling research mentioned a dead son's ghost crib.
Gary: The ghost is gone. I mean, at least we think it's gone. Sometimes you hear crying, but that's usually just Mama.

Ben: (to Jonah) You're a freshman congressman who still uses his mother's Netflix password. There's no way you're gonna get a meeting with Montez.

Kent: You said on-air that Bruce Hornsby was a member of the Grateful Dead. He was a touring member from '90 to '92. He never officially joined.

Candi: Ma'am, will you be okay with Congressman Ryan... alone?
Jonah: She'll what? She'll be fine!
Montez: Actually, why don't you stay, Candi?
Jonah: Jesus Christ, it's not like I'm gonna rape the president.
Montez: I'm sorry, did you just say you aren't going to rape the president?
Jonah: Of course I'm not. Why would I say I would?
Montez: Why would you say you wouldn't?
Jonah: Because I wouldn't!
Montez: I think maybe your people should come in, too.
Candi: Gentlemen!
Ben: What did he do, ma'am?
Jonah: Nothing! I didn't do anything!
Montez: Well, he threatened to not rape the president.
Jonah: Yeah, that's not a threat, that's a promise.

Montez: (to Jonah) Congressman, first of all, let me congratulate you. You have accomplished more in one month than most extremely stupid people do in a lifetime.
Jonah: That's very kind of you to say, ma'am.

Selina: You had "Green Acres" in Qatar?
Jaffar: Oh, yes, but they censored all the scenes with Arnold Ziffel.

Amy: Do you know that if 30,000 more people in Alabama had gone to the polls instead of smoking off-brand cigarettes through their neck holes at riverboat casino slot machines, we would be working at the White House right now instead of hunting for your diary at a fu**ing truck stop in which I guarantee we are the only people who are not here to score speed or get their a**holes licked.

Amy: Mike, I am going to choke you to death with your urine-soaked jacket.
Mike: It's not urine, okay? It's probably just water from the urinal.

Selina: (to Gary) You've got to,...you have to stand up for yourself, stupid.

Notes and Trivia

None

Goofs

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Cast