S06E09 - A Woman First
No: 57 |
Season: 6
Episode: |
Air Date: 18-Jun-2017
I can be very flirtatious.
Summary
Selina's book finally arrives; Jonah has a big meeting; Dan, Ben and Kent grab a drink.
Director and Writers
Director: Brad Hall
Story by: Erik Kenward
Teleplay by:
Quotes
Selina: Why doesn't everybody just go to St. Bart's? I miss it already.
Jaffar: It was so romantic. Just the two of us... and Gary.
Gary: So passionate.
Marjorie: Catherine's on bed rest. She's been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix.
Selina: Well, why should her cervix be any different than the rest of her?
Marjorie: Before you even ask, we have taken a break from sex, specifically penetrative sex.
Gary: (aside) She has a penis?
Selina: I don't know.
Selina: My book, my book, my book!
Mike: Fresh off the presses. Finally getting paid.
Selina: Well, we'll see.
Jonah: (About Selina's book) Are you fu**ing kidding? I'm not in here. I ruined her administration, like, four times. You'd think that'd count for something.
Shawnee: Jonah, I just saw the latest polls. The shutdown really hurt you in Massachusetts' anus.
Kent: AKA New Hampshire.
Jonah: I'm only up five on Skeevy Deevy? I went to summer camp with that dude and he was too afraid to get changed in front of the other boys.
Shawnee: I thought that was you.
Jonah: No, I'm pretty sure it was him.
Kent: It was you.
Selina: This isn't an article, this is a gang bang on a pinball machine! Who despises me like this?!
Amy: Well, there's President Montez, Tom James...
Mike: The White House maids, the steward...
Richard: White working class voters...
Gary: Nobody! Everybody loves you!
Selina: Mike? What have you and your 47 tangled chromosomes done?!
Kent: Let's go, Congressman. Wanna play a game of Horse?
Jonah: Yes, I would like that very much.
Kent: (sinks a basket) Boom goes the dynamite.
Jonah: You're fired.
Kent: Yes!
Gary: They should not be allowed to call that stuff tea. That's what I think.
Selina: You know what I think? You sound like the world's gayest AM radio show.
Selina: What do you want?
Leon: I think the Pulitzer I'm going to get from this is good enough for me, so good evening.
Selina: You can have Amy.
Leon: Wait, I don't understand.
Selina: You can have her. (raises eyebrows) Probably better from behind, though, you know.
Amy: It is beyond a dump. It is a toxic infant blowout out both diaper legs and up the back of the onesie.
Selina: From the moment I have left office, it has been nothing but a giant slalom down Mount McRimjob, brown diamond.
Dan: I thought about teaching high school, but, I mean, girls these days just can't keep a secret.
Selina: Well, the history books are being rewritten, and this time, it's not Texas saying Satan made fossils.
Richard: Ma'am, we're getting requests for confirmation from all the big Tibetan papers, except for the "Lhasa Express," though. They're playing their usual games.
Amy: Montez is not gonna be happy.
Selina: It's gonna put a real turd in her chalupa.
Mike: Oh, we should get Mexican for lunch.
Kent: I've been fired three times in my life: from the US Postal Service Office of Investigations, by the Seattle Seahawks, and by Jonah Ryan. I cried each time. This time, it was tears of joy.
Doctor: If you notice any swelling, let me know, and no erection for six weeks.
Jonah: Well, I don't know how I'm not gonna get it hard when I'm talking about my hog with some hot "shiska" nurse.
Doctor: I'm your doctor, and it's shiksa.
Shanee: At least your dick won't smell like donkey pussy anymore.
Jonah: Oh, God, I told you that was expired lube.
Jeff: (to Jonah) Shut the fu** up, you epileptic Picasso painting!
Shawnee: Jonah, I have been thinking, um, you know, I think I wanna slow things down with us.
Jonah: Okay, yeah, that makes sense. My teachers had to do that all the time.
Shawnee: No, with us you and me.
Shawnee: I've been having doubts for a little while.
Jonah: What do you mean a little while? What the fu** does that even mean? Is that before or after I scheduled the surgery to cut my dick off so you could marry me?
Notes and Trivia
None
Goofs
None
Cast
| Starring | Julia Louis-Dreyfus | Selina Meyer |
| Starring | Anna Chlumsky | Amy Brookheimer |
| Starring | Tony Hale | Gary Walsh |
| Starring | Reid Scott | Dan Egan |
| Starring | Timothy Simons | Jonah Ryan |
| Starring | Matt Walsh | Mike McLintock |
| Starring | Kevin Dunn | Ben Cafferty |
| Starring | Gary Cole | Kent Davison |
| Starring | Sam Richardson | Richard Splett |
| Guest Starring | Dan Bakkedahl | Roger Furlong |
| Guest Starring | Sarah Sutherland | Catherine Meyer |
| Guest Starring | Usman Ally | Mohammed Al Jaffar |
| Guest Starring | Diedrich Bader | Bill Ericsson |
| Guest Starring | Jessica Chaffin | Congresswoman Gellardi |
| Guest Starring | Margaret Colin | Jane McCabe |
| Guest Starring | Eugene Cordero | Buzzy Kanahale |
| Guest Starring | India de Beaufort | Brie Ramachandran |
| Guest Starring | Clea DuVall | Marjorie Palmiotti |
| Guest Starring | Nelson Franklin | Will |
| Guest Starring | Jonathan Hadary | Sherman Tanz |
| Guest Starring | Mary Holland | Shawnee Tanz |
| Guest Starring | Brian Huskey | Leon West |
| Guest Starring | Phil LaMarr | Paul Graves |
| Guest Starring | Peter MacNicol | Jeff Kane |
| Guest Starring | J.P. Manoux | Congressman Clark |
| Guest Starring | Seth Morris | Bill Jaeger |
| Guest Starring | Paul Scheer | Stevie |
| Guest Starring | Adam Scott | Tonight Show Host |
| Co-Starring | Ella Jay Basco | Ella |
| Co-Starring | Elliot Decker | Elliot |
| Co-Starring | Leah Huebner | Bethany |
| Co-Starring | Ruby Matenko | Ruby |
| Co-Starring | Abbey McBride | Dr. Walcott |
| Co-Starring | Sawyer Mosteller | Sawyer |
| Co-Starring | Melany Ochoa | Melany |
